In the words of Matt Groening:
I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again.
Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else.
You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.
The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.
If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.
You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor.
I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium.
Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.
Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.
I also found child's play - stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy - was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.
Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.
The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.
I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day.
When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries.
Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.
Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.
People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.
Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.
The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat.
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.
We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so.
Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
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